Monday, January 05, 2009

this week

OKay .. so this week was kinda shaky. I know its only day 10 of the new yr but im proud that Ive been happy for this long. Ive been happy a lil before new yrs but now its continuing and Im happy. I did have a few problems this week that woulda had the Tash from 2008 all in destruct and stuff like that. This week I got into it with a girl I knew since I was younger. Me and her never really clicked or anything and I guess we never will. I didnt like how she was acting , I wasnt going to say anything but there is a time when you have to get out of the highschool stage and grow up. No reason to act childish about everything . Im not Captain Mature but still . I also got into it with my Schmike this week . It was a bit serious. So I dont know how things will turn out with that. I kinda think me and Schmike are growing apart. Like we got each others back (although he thinks i dont have his) and no love loss (atleast not on my end) but ehhh.Me and Iv was good this week although I felt some type of way about some things...Anywhoot

The issue on being too available. Maybe I take my role as being there for someone , or caring TO SERIOUS ,but i dont know how to stop it .I know that leaves me out there high and dry to get hurt or used but ehhhhh if I care about you THATS WHY IM HERE. He says its not a problem but I kinda feel like hmmm maybe it is just because it was mentioned. ...I must admit Iv teaches me alot about me . Some things I didnt really wanna know and some things that make me go hmmmm oh really now? I feel like thats why he likes me because Im not like anyone else. Not to be cocky or anything but I TRULY BELIEVE there is no one around here like me . Im the realest, most nervous , shyest ,goofiest ,meanest but nicest person ever lol.. When I say real I mean real in a sense of I say whats on my mind , speak the truth .Not real as in ghetto and hood and all of that . Im definitely not that ....So yea this week was kinda bleh . I hope tonight is better. :).. YAYYYYYYYYY ON MY 50TH POST YAYYYYYYYY LOL

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