Friday, November 07, 2008

i DONT understand

I like to think of myself as a nice, cute, intelligent , outspoken,MISUNDERSTOOD young lady .I can see how im nice , cute, outspoken , and MISUNDERSTOOD but i definately dont understand my intelligence level sometimes. I know alot of things , experienced alot of things , been through rough times ,but I am still failing to understand why things happen in my life. It seems like everything goes smooth with me . Couldnt be better , skin glowing , im gleaming and all that good stuff , then out the blue everythign gets shut down. I know I may not be the best girl out there or whatever the case may be ,but damn is it really that serious for things to get shut down . I am not perfect. I make HELLA mistakes. I try not to regret ANYTHING , but I learned to learn from it. I dont understand relationships at all ;with friends , family ,and especially significant others.
As far as relationships with an s.o i dont get them . One minute your smiling ,kissing , hugging , and not wanting to part from the person . The next minute all of that is gone. IT SUCKS . When you to care about someone , and all of a sudden feelings are changed is truly mind-boggling .I love to feel wanted , who doesnt . This feeling Im going through now is the ultimate HELL . I hate not knowing . I hate that i dont know what if it never happens?, what if thats really it?, or what now?I also never understood since I really started to pay attention to boys in 4th grade with my lil crush , Gary, how misleading they are lol. Its like a game almost .For instance heres the rules:1)... Get as close to her as you possibly can , let her explore your world..2)..As soon as she gets close to you RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!! Im sure it isnt like that but hey it made me chuckle . Anyways I REALLY hope I didnt lose my I , I really hope this is a false alarm .Right now I just wanna interact with him SOMEHOW. Phone , text , air signal ,kickin rocks in his driveway lol , idk somehow .Im gonna listen to Repotsirc and not stress it but at the same time its like how can you not stress something you feel for ???!!!?I believe Repotsirc is right. Im gonna sress myself then at the end of the day have a major headache about something I cant really change at the moment , so why stress it .. ::NOTE TO SELF ::DONT STRESS IT::Anyways until next time :)


SwizZ said...

A broken heart can mend and crying eyes can dry and hurt can turn to joy, just takes a little time. I know you understand that, so don't stress it Tasha

Nikki S. Arrrrrra said...

don't stress it-- excellent advise. i realized that 99.9% of the time i spent stressing was in vain/in my head.

just smile, and realize, no matter what you're still you-- and you are all you need :)