Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Out with the OLD ..In with the NEW

So it's New Yrs Eve and I must say that this yr has been quite uhhhhhhhhh dramatic . I met a lot of people . Some are still in my life a lot of them aren't . I realized that I let things bother me to easily . My patience level is very low. I learned that I care to much about things or people that may not necessarily care about me . Im ready for the changes I am going to make. Well , maybe I'm not ready for all the changes but I am ready to let go of all the negativity in my past. Out with the OLD , In with the NEW.

I spoke to Iv about where we stand today . There are no more mysteries to me and him . He spoke his mind , I spoke mine and that's that . I appreciate everything that was said , and the conversation overall even if some of it did have me feelings some type of way . He was real with me and that basically all i could really ask for . I like that we spoke on so we aren't bringing in the new yr with pointless drama. We both know how each other feel and we go from there :) ..

I was also told that on looks from a 1 out of 10 with 10 being the best I'm a five maybe a six ( when I'm not trying at all .. just raggedy ponytail ,no type of makeup not even lipgloss..just careless mode) but overall a nine.That's understandable and I cant even be mad at that because it is definitely true. I am growing up and I'm trying to present myself as a yound women . So i need to look good all the time , or atleast show that I do care about myself and look presentable. I know what I need to work on and nine times out of ten I could care less.I was later told it was a joke but i still feel like I need to improve on this .. that was my inspiration.

My plans for this yr are :
to stay tune with myself.
Show confidence at all times
Dont let anything or anyone get to me , especially the ones who I feel isn't really worth it .Even if the person is worth it , don't let the person stress me or bring me down.
Learn to take a chill pill.
Treat others how they deserved to be treated.
Stop arguing so much .
Find a way to have patience .
Stay true to me .
Stop complaining so much , and let minor things that won't really matter slide.Eat healthy and get my body right . Not just the body but my mind ,and soul to .
I need to keep my word .
I also wanna go to atleast two places far from here
Go to a few concerts
Have a car , and apt .

These aren't new yrs resolutions at all .. They are things I always feel I need to work on .I need to grow daily. I dont want to take step backwards by arguing so much , or by being so defensive . I dont want to bring peoples spirits down when I talk to them . I want them to actually want to hear from me. I also need to know that I need to love me , and realize that if I dont love me first , then how could anyone ever love me for me ?How could I love someone else? I def. need to find happiness within me before I try to find happiness with anyone else. I need to also become an ear. I have someone listen to my problems but I notice I never really genuinely an ear. Im discreetly self centered , and I need that to stop right now.

This post isn't to go on about how bad of a person I am . It is just for me to look back on this next yr sometime or even exactly a yr from now and hopefully Ive frown drastically .

I want to also thank and ppreciate the people that are in my life.Tiara I love you , you're not always there when I need you but as I told u many times before u are there. Tamara.. Me and u have got to be the ppl or friends but don't think our friendship is departing anytime soon , we grow apart but someone always get connected again .
Amber , you are my heart . When u hurt .I hurt .when you're happy im giddy as hell loll . I love u and our insiders and I love that you're my mini me lol .. U ever need me u kno what to do ..Jade we gotta see each ther more often lol but I kno you're always a phone call away .BINK FN
BINK .Quiona like I said on 27678489 times. U balance me . You look at me like hell no and I already kno what it is . I never really see u get hyped for anything but that keeps me calm and collected where as u kno id be on some jumping off the walls ish . Stephhhhhhh we go through it
all lol . We argue and get at each other like everyday but no love loss, I love u dude ."that is true" You let me be real and say whatever I want while everyone else would probably be like yo stfu lol ..but I love u for it :) ..schmikster .. We go wayyy back like cooked craxk lol This yr been o.d extreme for us (to me) but I love it ..I love u schmike .. I kno u tlkin to someone now but if she hurts u ill kick her .Make sure she knows that lol. Ivrito you just really came into my life not to long ago and maybe this is "o.d" :) of me but im reallllly glad you're here . Everything has definitely not been all peachy and infatuated between us but I think we both grow from it. We have had a lot of good times , plenty of bad but wtheck we always work something out and I feel like we build from it . Idk what's in store for me and u ,but im willing to find out (hope u r too) just alwayssss keep it real with me no matter what:)...

my mind is constantly millions of miles away . Lately I wonder should I be there, is it right ? This may be forward but at times it seems like that's where my soul is . Wherever it is , its capturing my heart and making a home .I dream of this place I know nothing of .I just know its a land opposite of mine. Where even if I feel wrpng, the wrong will make itself right .. Idk if im making sense but I don't want to be in jersey . I see me smiling and feeling all warm 10000000000000000 miles away somewhere even just for a little while ..

Oh well I think I have confused you all enough with this blog that went in a huge circle,hopefully I didnt though. Until next time .HAPPY NEW YRS..!!!!!

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