Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Unwanted

today i woke up feeling a tad bit unwanted .

Not from any one person ,just in general . Starting to seem like im never really anyone's priority , or things cant be pushed aside for me . It seems like all i do is compromise or in real terms give in to everyone . If they need money i can be on my last dollar but magically a 20 or 50 pop up . I know that may not be a lot but to just give someone that it is . If they need a ride , they can call or if i know theyre gonna need one I ask them . If im sick and that person is sick ill get out the bed to get them some meds or get out of my bed to do something to try to atleast make them feel better somehow.

I dont really ask much from anyone . ANYONE! What I do ask for is time , attention , and honesty.... That seems to be a problem. I could be like every other person out here and ask for money when im broke , to be babied when im sick , and just be dependent on everyone else but I dont . Its not a good look to depend on people in my opinion . Since what Im asking for isnt much , why cant i ever receive that ? why is it ALWAYS a aproblem for everyone? Its starting to get annoying for real . Im tired of people putting me last on their list of priorities .No , scratch that . Im tired of people putting me last on their list of options. Damn, they say you get what you give . HOW FUCKIN LONG DO I HAVE TO WAIT ?? I've been waiting all my life , ive never been selfish , never asked for much ... Seems like girls would rather another chick go without someoen to talk to before they offer their ear. They want people to listen and listen and listen to their ongoing problems .As soon as imention something thats going on in my life , which in my opinion is way more important than what youre gonna wear that night at some party or when you go see your bf , they wanna change the subject. And its starting to seem like dudes would rather have a chick whose pety , childish ,needing them financially , and ultimately being a snake-ish bitch before they would rather a chick who just needs them there MENTALLY.I just wanna be secure with my place with people . I need to know the person will be there and not put me on hold for a tv show or something in that sort.DAMN !!.On some serious stuff, its getting hard to find a genuine hug . One when you know the person is actually feeling your pain . . Maybe me and the people I know are to much IDK but its getting tough to handle . FOR REAL!.

I dont smoke but I need a cigarette (sp) lol.Its getting stressful . Do I stop giving , helping people and things of that nature and tell people to find a way to do it theirselves or do I continue hoping Ill get the same in return one day?? I think I put this in my other blog but i dont dig the treat others how you would want to be treated mess.. i do believe in the treat other how they deserved to be treated .. I just need to start following it. TASH is getting tired of the ish .. getting ran over is not cool , at all.

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