Okay so i have been having this on going conflict with myself since as long as I can remember. Im sure I post about this numerous times ,but this is my blog and as things go on in my life im gonna continue talking about it . This somehow helps me . Pardon the language.. I am soo fucking annoyed with my surroundings. I dont fuckin get how I can continuously put everything , everybody , and again EVERYTHING before I put me ,out of the kindness out of my heart but nobody on the fucking face of Earth does the same for me. WTF IS IT?? Do people get that vibe that I dont need any type of love , is it just fuck Tasha all the time? Like damn this shit gets sad as hell when u helpin people all the damn time but as soon as Tasha need a laugh , a hug , a kiss , a damn piece of paper and nobody can deliever??
I hate that i continue to cry about this same situation. I hate that the people I love the most cant ever put me before anything . I hate that I will put my life out there for anybody im close with or care about , and nobody will do the same.
so much ass that everybody I know talk a good one ALL THE TIME about how they are there for me but .. wtf when??.. Im in tears about the same shit ever 2 weeks and I dont even know how to change the shit . Do I dismiss everyone out my life? Like what exactly do I do ? Do I stop caring about people and put on the whole fuck u attitude that they give to me?Like im stuck in a situation where i dont give a shit anymore about anything . IDK if this makes me weak but im letting this on going bullshit get in the way of ME.Seems like people get close to me just to leave .My drive ,motive , love for things , dedication , and focus is GONE . Idk how to get any of it back because I dont know how to delete this b.s out my life.