Tuesday, December 16, 2008

121608

Its 12 16 08 and i havent posted a blog in a lil while :( .. i hate when i do that lol.. Anywho here in Jerz its snowing .. its pretty to me . I mean the clean up isnt cute but the snow on the trees and cars is good (until u gotta get up ultra early before work to clean if off lol) . Work was pretty slow today , and i got ultra annoyed with these group of teenage girls that came in there. Like being loud , ghetto , and extra allllll the time isnt cute. There was no reason for them to come in the store screaming about how cold it is . Im sure everyone feels itlike wtheck cool it .literally.They came in there with pjs and no coats .. one chick had on no shoes walkin around . Im like ummm whatever makes u happy . She musta said omg i only have socks on about 6 times. Like homie .. everyone can see that sweetheart just relax...

Anywho Sunday I thought my world was gonna shatter lol. I know thats kind of dramatic but it felt like i had a mini breakdown . All my emotions were pouring out to Steph and Schmike .. they probably think im crazy now but heyyyy they love my crazy ass. Idk how to handle life at times , and sometimes it gets to the point of WHO AM I ? .. I wanna be that girl that I was in the summer. Real , holding my own , STRONG .Not letting things get to me . IDK what happened from that time but ive changed. Im still who I was but not completely and that kills me . At times it feels like NOOOO one is there for me and that hurts worse . Its like sheesh hella numbers in my phone with no one to call type of thing .School sucked this semester. Maybe because last year i went to a completeelly different environment .Nuns walkin around type school , and this yr its more like highschool. I had no reason not to not be focused i just really wasnt . I was more focused on the two lame -os in the corner talkin about what they ate for breakfast a week ago . Im still passing and everything but ehh next semester i haveee to do better. My fam is alwways on some other shit. Like they always been against me for what . I dont kiss their fannies so i guess thats why . Ehhh F em lol ...!! not down for anyone phony even if they are related. Iv... ::sighs:: Iv is great , things could be better but things are definately improving. He makes me smile (well have something in my eye ::insider::) , he makes me feel great when i talk to him , even if we arent talking about anything , i also feel new with him , idk how to explain it but it feels good . Hopefully feelings are mutual but ehhhhhh time shall tell ..I want him for christmas lol along with an ipod lol. But as stated beore things sucked major ass on Sunday night . I couldnt get in touch wiht self . I was crying letting everything out oh wells.... SIGHSS I WILL OVERCOME THIS.

UPCOMING EVENTS/THINGS TO DO:: Schmols comes back yayyyy , im getting a tat on tuesday hopefully i can not wait ... gotta get a job , register for classes ,and find myself . Get a hobby.. register for gym . Get a new wardrobe.. SIGHSS..

3 comments:

Latoya said...

YES SNOW IS VERY PRETTY

I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN BY "YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO HANDLE LIFE AT TIMES. I FEEL THAT WAY SOMETIMES CAUSE LIFE IS VERY HARD AT TIMES AND JUST BE SO UGHHHH..

TRUST ME I KNOW...

TAKE IT EASY!

akoop_ said...

You had said earlier in the post that you felt like you had no one to talk to, although you got mad numbers in your phone...I get the same way, like I flip through my contact list's and it just feels like theres nobody to talk to..but you'll be fine...you have to find that motivation from inside yourself and things will get better...something will bring it out of you..just trust it will come..juss try not to rush it..
peace:)

Gorgeous Geek said...

^^^ Dr. Phil up there lol haha

On another note... I absolutely hate snow! Like it depresses me and I will not go outside. Its just cold and blah. It may snow a little in NC. But a little is too much. I wanna move to a warmer climate.

=]