Turning 20

My birthday was on 71789 and it was ultra lame.Like I dont ever have the birthday everyone else have but its whatever .Idk why i get mad when Im used to it . Anyways in my 20 yrs I think I have discovered , let go , re discovered , let go and re discover who I am . I think that will be a never ending cycle for the rest of my life.When I turned 20 i was on my way to Virginia . Thats cool because I was getting away from that place i call my home yet at the same time I wasnt really happy . Then again when am I really happy?? But whatever. I started thinkin about all I have done then of course I started thinking about all that I havent . At 20 I feel like im falling behind.This whole plan that I had isnt happening for me fast enough .

I know everyone has there time to shine but WHAT THE HELLLL . I need my time to be now. Feels like the grass is greener on the other side .My mom always says yea it may be greener hbut u dont know hwat that person did to get it greener .She has a point but still . At 20 I was supposed to be close to done with school . Im no where near done with school . Major setbacks seeing that I have to pay for it on my own . The government sucks so much ass with Financial Aid because its just me and my mom and they still like nah lil bruh its not gonna happen.

I wanted to be on my own , at a college away . Living the college life , actin a fool . None of that is happening .

On the other hand , I do think that I am one of a kind for my age. Lol . I work full time now .school full time , I am on my grind for B.L.V.D , Mr . Davis the drummer , and City Wide Marching Band. Thats not a bad thing but at the same time its not as fulfilling as I would like it to be. But whatever no complaints. Its millions of people that would love to be where I am now . Sighzzzz cant complain cant complain . I need to know that I am blessed .