80s baby

Me ,Steph and the Schmols went to a 80s vs 90s party about 2 weeks ago (sucked major ass btw)I swear we were the only ones dressed but whateva.. the iv suprised me and popped up there along with his brother (stephs bf), and his friend randy (tamaras bf...lmao just playing tamara)..the whack ass promoter kept sayin our names im like wtf .. and he tries to get at all of us . If one says no he like goes to the next , this on going circle..yuckk. so anyways here are the pics..

i lovvve this pic.

the end.

MS KERIIII BABYY

So i saw her on the 21st and I was still beat to go see her the 24th ,, Why not??? So me and Steph took a good ol trip to the city , went to wet seal and waited about a good 2 hours to see her. Good thing it wasnt extremely cold.Oh well even if it was shes worth it .. :) .. I had to buy the cd twice. I bought it earlier that day at Target thinking i could just get it signed later that day , but when i got to Wet Seal they was like Nah homie u gotta buy it again .. I def did.. I was waitin on line then ppl form Virgin Megastore like well if yall dont wanna wait here Jim Jones , Freaky Zeaky , Dame Dash down the street im like "PSHHTTT NEGATIVE" lol.I was sooo ecstatic when she came out the car was gonna record it but i went retarted then i just lost it lol.. I had a 2 second convo with her.

I asked the guy if she could sign both cds hes like yea if u buy 2 , u get both signed.. so im all cheesy.. So she says" Oh she has two?? hmmm"with a smile .. Im like "yea" (like im 5 shakin my head and shit lol) .. Then she says "So who you givin the other one to?" "Nobody ,both mines""Ohhhh so one for the car one for the house, i got you" "Im like [lol] yea exactly"She did a lil laugh ..Then we took a pic .. Then she was like "High 5 for getting two " My goofy ass and my retarted hands got happy as hell ..lol ... I kno I must seem like a stalker or groupie but ehhh whatever good moment..

Then i take pics have a good ol time , me and steph like lets go to 34th to h and m , and forever 21 .. i lose my freakin bag with the camera and cds . I was on a crazyyyyy ass speed chase back to the store. I got it back yayyyyy!!! Oh well heres pics... and the album was good , some songs im like ehhh but still good album nonetheless..

032108

MS .KERIIII BABBYY

sophia freshtiffany evans... i loveee her hair i think ima cut it like that

me and the schmols

the schmols
Angela and Vanessa Simmons hosted a lil Pastry fest and had a lil fashion show and performers ((Tiffany Evans, Kat De Luna , Sophia Fresh , and Ms Keriii Baby )) Free from 106 and park, Adrianna (sp) from cheetah girls , Jess from Daddys Girls was there too. I dont have pics for all because i recorded alot..They are allll sooo gorgeous..

Making HIS Band!!

so Iv went to the Making Diddys Band auditions in NYC.. so me and Steph came up with the lets be supportive.. I was just gonna be his mental cheerleader but ehh whatever we came up with these schnazzy posters lol.. We didnt go because he said he wasnt gonna go that morning , when he really did :( but whatever we showed him that night... he likes....So here are pics of the posters lol.. OOOO and he did good.. Its not the process people thinks but they didnt say "Pshhh wtf be out or tell him go hme so thats always .." Not really my place to go on about it but whatever ,,

poster time ...

I made this one

Steph made that one.. :)

busyyy day..not really

Things i got done in bold.

Because Im a lame lol ill put my to do list up here:

re-do blog

clean up

write blogs ((Im slippin))

start on english research paper

start and do majority of psych and sociology paper

watch a movie that i have ,but never seen

do my hair

do more research for my organization

plan my friends bday plans

wellppp thats my day , sooo glad im off..

hope everyone has a greattttttttt dayy !!

lil update

things i gotta blog about :

saturday :)

ms.keri baby

fn walgreens

...

stay tuned

♥

Motivation

I wrote this blog earlier today ...

Motivation .. Im in class (well waiting for it to start) and that was the topic at hand. That topic has been brought up like 40 times within a week and maybe thas my problem . I have no motivation .. As much as that sucks maybe that's what it is .I feel like I push everyone to gofor what they want . I seem to be everyones support system or everyones mental cheerleader ..Where the fuck is mine ? Then ppl be on some Tash u really not gonna be there ? Like homie , you really NOT there for me so why should I continue being there for them .

Its good to know when u can call someone and they are ya support system regardless of what .Im building that up now ..Feels kinda good , when I feel like something NEW is coming up . I feel like im going in the right direction as of now ..A few things coming up and if I don't have a support team its cool ..Team Tash is in action lol .. Details are that I will do what I need to do for me before I continue worrying about others . Im going to venture off and do things I wanna do .. With some are .. Learning an instrument ... Going thrugh with an audition , im not model type but I wanna do photoshoots .. I also wanna join an organization .. I also wanna take steps to helping a country either Haiti or Africa ..thsoe are the ones in my interest right now . Soo these are some things . As far as the modeling and stuff .. I figure the worse they can say is no honey u aren't good enough . I can deal with that..anyways TEAM TASH is here ...Get wit it or get lost lol .. Adios--Sent from my T-Mobile Sidekick®=

Excuses

"Excuses are monuments of nothingness. They build bridges to nowhere. Those who use these tools of incompetence ,seldom become anything but nothing at all."
-author unknown

I've been hearing this alot lately , and hearing alot about motivation [perhaps a sign] .. Im really loving this quote though ..

:)boredom hit us

that night we was supposed to go to greekfest but tamara (the girl in the back) couldnt make it so we had our own lil party in the car b4 we started our day .. i kno we're weird but hey lol .(((dont mind how i look or sound lol))). enjoy ..:)

:)

so im a little happy right now ...ivrito just came to see me (well about 45 minutes ago lol). he has to go out of state for a couple of days and he came to see me.how cute? lol.. im kinda gleaming been feenin for a few days to be in his presence.. that sounds crazy lol but whatever just a mini post.. good day planned for me tomorro.T-CUBE is back in action..my schmols and tamara are supposed to be goin to the wax museum in nyc .. we live like 15 minutes away from the city and still act like tourist lol but whateva...cant fn wait.. then later on me and the schmols are going to greekfest (party)..hopefully i have hella fun...hope my bebito have a safe trip... hope all is well with you guys..night blogspot lol :)

dear you,

hey you ,

Ever felt like one of your closest friendships just DIED!Thats how I feel about us . Surprisingly im not sad or anything like that . I kinda feel like whats meant to be will be. I guess its time for us to move on with our lives. Love you to death ,but its just not their anymore. I kinda dont dig the new you , and everyone is entitled to "change". Maybe its a phase ,but i refuse to let this challenge me as pain.Your finding you , and I found me again. Time for old things to just die down and new things to begin. Like I said before I love you to death , thats never going to change. One day hopefully , things will go back to how they were, things might just be the same.We were there for each other , now there is hella tension in the "Air",but neither one of us HAS to be here. Yes , Im involved with someone but I didnt think that would determine us . Yes , Ive cried to you plenty of times and you was always there for me . I also experienced you semi-spazzing because we didnt talk for a few days , or the one time u needed me I wasnt available. Since Im not the friend you "thought" I was Im going to dismiss myself.Time for me to say goodbye (for now i hope).. Wish we didnt end like this . Love ya...

[(TASH)]

ugh

IDK WHUSSUP WITH ME RIHGT NOW BUT IM IN TEARS ... i have absolutely positively no idea why and it sucks . Im trying to tell myself things arent that bad but truth of the matter is i dont evn know the "things" im referring to . Yea im feeling unwanted , unappreciative and a few other things but these feelings arent new. Like they arent feelings Ive never had. Maybe im over exaggerating or "o'dn " as iv would say but wthell..I truly hate days like this . Sulky and ish like that for NOOO reason ..Anyways going to sleep now . Today(since its past 12 ) is a new day ..

...7 lbs

So i spoke to Ivory about my feelings of being unwanted and things of that nature . I told him how I didnt ask anyone for anything yet no one can ever deliver things when i do ask . He then went on to say well Id give you a lung if you needed one . I GOT STUNNED!! Maybe im wrong but I was like you cant live with just one lung .. So then I told him "babe you kno you cant live with just one lung " He was like well Id give you my kidney . Im like aww either way its cute , the lung was cuter he was liek you took it back by saying that . Im like what you mean , he was like I meant the lung thing ,if you needed it its yours , sort of like seven pounds.. Meaning whether I can live with one or not he'd give it to me ..Im like OH EM GEE .. It kinda makes me re evaluate some things at the same time the feeling of being unwanted is still here. Maybe people just dont express that im a priority but I def need to know these things. I am happy and kinda gassed that he would say somehting like that . I asked him like 9 times did he mean it he was like yea . IM LIKE OHHH EMM GEE lol....anyways back to feeling unwanted..

Unwanted

today i woke up feeling a tad bit unwanted .

Not from any one person ,just in general . Starting to seem like im never really anyone's priority , or things cant be pushed aside for me . It seems like all i do is compromise or in real terms give in to everyone . If they need money i can be on my last dollar but magically a 20 or 50 pop up . I know that may not be a lot but to just give someone that it is . If they need a ride , they can call or if i know theyre gonna need one I ask them . If im sick and that person is sick ill get out the bed to get them some meds or get out of my bed to do something to try to atleast make them feel better somehow.

I dont really ask much from anyone . ANYONE! What I do ask for is time , attention , and honesty.... That seems to be a problem. I could be like every other person out here and ask for money when im broke , to be babied when im sick , and just be dependent on everyone else but I dont . Its not a good look to depend on people in my opinion . Since what Im asking for isnt much , why cant i ever receive that ? why is it ALWAYS a aproblem for everyone? Its starting to get annoying for real . Im tired of people putting me last on their list of priorities .No , scratch that . Im tired of people putting me last on their list of options. Damn, they say you get what you give . HOW FUCKIN LONG DO I HAVE TO WAIT ?? I've been waiting all my life , ive never been selfish , never asked for much ... Seems like girls would rather another chick go without someoen to talk to before they offer their ear. They want people to listen and listen and listen to their ongoing problems .As soon as imention something thats going on in my life , which in my opinion is way more important than what youre gonna wear that night at some party or when you go see your bf , they wanna change the subject. And its starting to seem like dudes would rather have a chick whose pety , childish ,needing them financially , and ultimately being a snake-ish bitch before they would rather a chick who just needs them there MENTALLY.I just wanna be secure with my place with people . I need to know the person will be there and not put me on hold for a tv show or something in that sort.DAMN !!.On some serious stuff, its getting hard to find a genuine hug . One when you know the person is actually feeling your pain . . Maybe me and the people I know are to much IDK but its getting tough to handle . FOR REAL!.

I dont smoke but I need a cigarette (sp) lol.Its getting stressful . Do I stop giving , helping people and things of that nature and tell people to find a way to do it theirselves or do I continue hoping Ill get the same in return one day?? I think I put this in my other blog but i dont dig the treat others how you would want to be treated mess.. i do believe in the treat other how they deserved to be treated .. I just need to start following it. TASH is getting tired of the ish .. getting ran over is not cool , at all.

pics arent that good but thats the tat .. its a swallow wiht stuff inside lol id explain and all that the meaning of them but tooo tired right now .. tell me what u think .. in the design it had nautical stars in between the wings but i think it looks cute without so im gonna think about that cuz i may not add those .. tell me what u think :) .. i was sooo happy yesterday happened . I kinda had doubts that it was but the Iv came through . it was like a lil double date thing (his brother and my girl Steph) but who cares lol. I wanted him to be there and i was pushinggggg the issue lol but it happened.YAY!! He was tired as hell and everything but ilikes that he put that aside for me . COOL BEANZ IVRITO . Sooo he was in the room with me after he found a park (crazy ass nyc... gotta park miles away from your destination) then we got pizza , walked and talked for awhile and that was it. VERY CUTE!I kept tellin him he like Tash I heard u the first 70 times lol. .Anywhoot thats the tat , hope yall like :)...

change

Within the last month i made a few changes with the appearance.. i wear my glasses now (had a nasty eye infection so yea gotta let the eyes breathe from the contacts ) and i cut my hair again .. i was supposed to let it grow and grow and all that other b.s i was talking but of course i couldnt hold back lol .... my hair covered my tat in the back ...my hair def wasnt long but def way longer than what it is now lol.. here are pics .. dont mind the first 3 i look beat the f up just came out the shower and just finished blow drying it lol .. i got my last relaxer the 10th of feb..

now here I am a lil more polished not really but better lol ..

sooo yea its a bob... longer on the sides.. i likes.. :)..... Ive also been using ambi face scrub and i think my face is getting a lil better . I ran out of my clean and clear and i refuse to buy anymore hair or face or anything else i dotn really need because i want 3 major things .. apt, car and a mac soooo yea gotta save.. yea i kno im getting a tat which could be money in the bank but sheesh all work and no play leaves tash to be a dull chica lol.. but yea ive been using the ambi 2x a day and i do still have some dark spots but i think overall its gotten better.. im also thinking about going natural .. since my hair is shorter it wouldnt be that hard for me to keep cutting the relaxer out .. lets see how long i can stretch this relaxer .. hmmm .. oh wells until next time .. toodalooo

TODAY

tattttt .. yay im supposed to be getting another one tonight .. hopefully all works out and it happens.. tats are ultra addictive .. cant wait

Boredom:2-Holidays

I think holidays are SOOOOO overrated. Im not going to say all of them but the ones I really pay attention to , Christmas , Thanksgiving , Valentines Day , New Years , .... (i think thats it , thats all i can think of lol)..

With Thanksgiving the story behind it is kinda ehh. Yea the Pilgrims and Indians were having a little shindig , thanking each other and all that but it was b.s because the pilgrims killed the damn indians right after. WHAT ???!!!! Fattening them up to kill them affect IDK .. So the whole concept is understandable , and how people go o.d with food because thats how the first Thanksgiving was spent but still . Personally my family is following it the original way . (If you read earlier post , youll see I dont really care for my family ...keep that in mind) . My family usually have this big ass "shindig" thanking each other for each other , and all this hooplah .. To me its a bunch of b.s and shortly after the meal or a few days later they are back at each other throats . They arent killing each other ,but the hatred is still there.. Im always like hmmmm.. isnt that the same person u was putting on an act for on Thanksgiving , saying you're thankful and all this other b.s UGH! MOVING ON..

Christmas is a bit overrated to ...not to mention EXPENSIVE . People dont settle for gifts from the heart anymore they want cars and ish these days lol . The real story behind Christmas isnt about gifts either but whatever.

Valentines Day....HMMMM . So this was my first time with a Valentine . Did I feed into the hype? YES !! lol.I dispise the whole roses , and chocolate thing though . Me and the Iv went to Cracker Barrel 2.13 and it was pretty cool.We exchanged gifts although i kinda requested that we didnt . I didnt want any type of chocolate , no roses ,nothing major . Just wanted to spend the day with him.I did want a big ass teddy bear , gorrilla , frog ..anything lol just wanted it to be big , and he got it for me YAYY ! lol .. Her name is Zildjian (if youre into instruments and things of that sort, its a company that makes cymbals , mallets , drumsticks .. things of that nature). Me being the sentimental dweeb that I am , I got him drumsticks with his name engraved on them , a dog tag that had this cute lil message ,this gorilla and a pic of us.. anyways back to my story. That day is kinda full of crud because if you love or care about the person why is that only day some people show affection...

I think yall get my point ... some holidays are eck!!!!

Boredom:1-Relationships and Titles.

Boredom has definitely sit in. Its the im tired but I def dont wanna go to sleep bored ,and the I should be doing something productive with myself bored but I dont want to do that either.. EH!!

So a few things have been on my mind... Nothing major but things im noticing . ..so im gonna write a few blogs based on these observations :)

1)Relationships and Titles...

The Iv and I have been talking for a little minute now . Im kinda proud at that actually ,because a lot of relationships dont make it that long . Mind you me and him arent an 'OFFICIAL COUPLE" ... We have our ups and downs . Sometimes things get verrryyy hard to deal with . One of us probably doesnt want to be bothered with the other , or overwhelmed by the other.We have different opinions about things , so that sometimes put things in wthell mode.We have strong feelings 4 each other ..its noticeable , people see our connection lol.All in all he has my back for whatever , i have his for whatever , he is there for me , im there for him , im his ducky , hes my bebito lol .... (you get the point) Everything is there except the title.

Did it bother me at first? HELL YES!..

Do i still want to officially be his girl? Hell YES !..

Am i going to continusly bring it up ?HECK NO!..

I know some people are probably like what the hell, and have a list of reasons why the title matters butttt i guess me and him are the weirdos lol. I mean at times I do get curious like WHY THE HELL has it not happened ,but everything has its time .I mean me and him are there for each other , and we are actually doing quite good so its like why do we NEED the title right now .As some of you may know that title can sometimes break a relationship. Everything is there before the title , good times , laughter , affection and all this stuff but as soon as the title comes in things can do a 360 for real . People may start to slack , they may feel a little trapped...just alot of b.s . I guess me and him are going through this little introductory period. Im feeling him out , he's feeling me out . We are both seeing if this is who we want to start something with , accepting flaws , just pretty much seeing if we can deal with each other type thing..Its kind of weird . I KNOW! lol but its working for us . As stated before ,titles can break relationships. Not to bring up anyone relationships but I know a few people who were great before the title . Shortly after they became official , things just changed for the better. Either she expected him to be a better boyfriend , or he slacked off . Maybe he just got comfortable with knowing that she was going to be there regardless so he felt he didnt really have to do anything but nonetheless things got worse..

This has been on the dome for awhile because a lot of people have been questioning me ... Any thoughts , opinions , comments , anything lol let me know :)

ugh pt 2

okay so i guess i spoke to damn soon . I looked on youtube and saw details fromt he case ofrom the news. CHRIS BROWN IS A COWARD. If these details are true ,then he is a coward . It was o.d for him to do half of that . Over a text message ? Like no she shouldnt have been going through his phone but wthell it was not that serious .If he just was beatin the shit out of her for no reason (to me thats not a reason) , i do feel like those charges that are placed against him are good. UGHHH. Anyways im still ugh about the situation .. Life doesnt need to stop because of this...MOVING ON

SCHOOL!

This semester I have been extremmeeeelllllyy slackin . I have no idea why , and my test and papers are good but when it comes down to my actual performance in class ... IT SUCKS. I cant focus I need some help for real .Im focused on things I want tho . My dumbass family has always been my motivation for me to succeed. They wanna see me fail soooo bad so I always felt I had to prove them wrong ,but now that Im on careless mode about who THEY are im slippin .. CANT DO THAT ...

UGHHH!!

OK.. so tired of a few things at this point . Like paparrazi , society , media , all that other b.s has gotten boring .

So hmmmm , whadyakno..I had noo o o o o idea that when a man hits a women the world stopped , held their breath , and didnt proceed until they got further news. Like I am sooo done with hearing about the Chris Brown and Rihanna situation . STFU already . Im not saying it was right for him to hit her , Im not really saying anything about it because I wasnt there , and I damn sure have no clue what was going on behind closed doors but WTH world move on. Im sure they are cuddled up somewhere right now as I type this . I dont feel like its right for any man to put their hands on a women but I also dont think its right for any women to put their hands on a man . Women tend to think that just because they are a woman its a ok for them to just beat the hell out of a guy ..WRONG !! Im sure if I constantly put my hands to Iv and we arent in boxing mode , or playing then at one point in time or another he might just flip out and hit my ass... Yes you can walk away , yes you can take it but men are human just like women . I dont condone (sp) violence at all whether man and man , women and women , man and women , and anything else in between lol . Self Defense, yes!!! In anycase Im tired of it . Im sure they are continuin their lives. Probably chillin together right now ..Maybe I sound like a dumbass but these are my thoughts. LET THIS STORY DIE ALREADY ..